CXCVI – Training Self-Mastery

In my previous article I discussed how the interior life moderates the excesses of the exterior passions; the exterior life defends the interior life against disturbances. I suggested the best way to train these muscles is to act against your natural inclinations–unstated in that article was that eventually the desired inclinations will become natural.

This is something that I need help in, so what follows is an exploration of practical advice for training and moderating ones interior and exterior life. I hope you find it useful as well, which is why I am musing about it publicly; I don’t presume to tell you “BECOME A SAINT WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK (Demons hate it!)” so ultimately you will have to find what works for you. I am speaking from my own perch, where all I can see is myself. I welcome any comments or criticisms anyone might have which would improve this concept of self mastery.

The Exterior Life is probably the easiest to understand and feel and attempt to control, and simultaneously the hardest to actually control because it is front-facing and battered by the winds of the world. Some people call an awareness of your exterior actions, presentations, words, and habits “mindfulness”, but I like the term “self conscious” better. The first step will always just be an awareness of what you are doing.

The second step, as I see it, is an awareness of what troubles your interior life. Again: part of the function of the Exterior life is to defend the interior life. The Exterior life cannot spare itself from itself, it must be directed to something else.

Think about what disturbs your interior life. An example from me: I get stirred up very easily by a particular colleague at work, whom I used to work for, and whom I have a very bad relationship with. I no longer have to work with this person but every jot of news I get, every slight interaction I might have in passing, stirs me up to bitterness. The background is irrelevant, whether my animosity is justified or not is irrelevant. The fact of that matter is that I do, in fact, feel bitterness and it takes very little to make me feel bitterness.

So lets say I wanted to utilize my exterior life to protect my interior life. The first and most obvious way to act against this bitterness is to bite my tongue. When I am stirred to bitterness it is tempting for me to turn to my friendly colleagues and give vent to my animosity. It is this act, more than the acts of my colleague, which disturbs my interior life. By holding my silence, my interior disturbance must remain an interior disturbance, and so starved of oxygen the fire burns out. That is a change in behavior and not necessarily a change in belief. The goal is interior peace, and to avoid disturbance into the future. Another exterior method is prayer–Pray for and about the things that trouble me. Prayer is never wasted, but exterior prayer, saying it out loud (whether in public or not) can help practice that exterior defense. Giving voice to this takes the prayer from an interior one to an exterior one, becomes a public expression that reinforces and is reinforced by interior belief. So in my next encounter, if I were to take this to heart, not only would I not speak ill of the comrade who has drawn my ire, but perhaps I can pray for them in a way that wishes their good–even something as simple as “May God bless xxxx”.

Another action that goes against this temptation to bitterness is to perhaps say something kind to the object of my animosity–rather than harboring interior bitterness, speaking some exterior kindness. Further still, performing some act of kindness would be an exterior action contrary to my interior belief. Consistently acting, speaking, praying in conflict with my interior life would be uncomfortable at first but with time and practice will soften my hardened heart.

In Summary: Pray, Speak, and Act against whatever troubles your interior life, and your exterior life will be strengthened and you will find your interior life decreasingly troubled.

The Interior life, in contrast to the Exterior, is very easy to control and very difficult to understand. Which seems counterintuitive, but if you’ve ever been struck by an inexplicable mood (for good or ill), you know how strange and unpredictable knowing the movements of your interior life can be. The word I would use to describe having an understanding of your interior life is introspection.

Like with the exterior life, the first step is an awareness of what you think and feel, and correlating that with activities in the exterior life. The interior life can moderate the volatility of the exterior life, and so an awareness of both is essential.

So think about what troubles your exterior life, which has its roots internally. Another example from my own life, when I am stressed I tend to have a shorter temper than when I am not stressed. Another colleague at work was a paratrooper in the Army and likes to walk by when I am stressed and remind me that nobody is being shot at. So the first practice to strengthen the interior life is perspective. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and keep focused the true measure of the source of stress. Prayer also is good to fortify and reinforce your interior life. Memorize some prayers, and keep them in mind, call upon them in times of trouble. A good way to accomplish both perspective and prayer at once is to contemplate the sorrowful mysteries: Whatever is troubling you, you aren’t being flogged at a pillar, nor crowned with thorns, nor crucified. Call upon Our Lady’s intercession.

There are more exterior ailments than just stress and a short temper. Acting against these troubles in the interior life involves maintaining a sense of calm, having an interior awareness of how the world wants you to react and how you want to react. It can also mean exercising the will to deprive yourself of some comfort: Fasting, abstaining from meat or sweets or anything you happen to want, while these may be exterior acts they are first and foremost acts of the will. As such, they are flexions of the interior life that helps temper and moderate your exterior life.

In Summary: Maintain perspective, pray, practice calmness and peace, and you will find it working its way up and out into your exterior life. Practice self mortification, fasting, abstinence from anything you find you desire, and you will find moderation in your exterior life as well.

I hope this has been a useful exercise!

AMDG