CCCXXXIX – Locus of Control

Shortly after my previous article on motivation I happened upon a video that described an Internal and External Locus of Control.

The video described a behavioral experiment on 5th graders. Two groups were asked to complete various puzzles, and afterwards were told that they did a very good job, regardless of actual performance. One group was told they did well because they are so smart. The other group was told that they did well because they worked so hard.

Following this, the two groups were given a set of additional easy, medium, and hard puzzles to complete on their own. The “smart” group spent less time overall on this additional set, and the time they did spend was mostly on the easy puzzles. The “hard working” group spent more time overall on this additional set, and spent most of their time on the hard puzzles—they were also more likely to describe this whole effort as “fun”.

The difference, so the video explained, is between an internal and an external locus of control. The smart kids were given an “external” locus by being told they were smart. Intelligence was a thing that happened to them, and it resulted in decreased motivation and decreased engagement. The hard working kids were given an “internal” locus by being told that they accomplished something on their own effort. This resulted in increased motivation and increased enjoyment in their work.

As adults, a person with an external locus is more likely to complain about things happening to them and make excuses: “I didn’t do the thing because it was raining,” or “I couldn’t finish it because I was too tired.” A person with an internal locus is more likely to be self motivated: “I did the thing because I needed to do it. Yeah it was raining also,” or “I finished it even though I was tired!”

This is pertinent for a couple reasons. First: Our relationship with the world and with God will improve if we train ourselves to have an internal locus of control (it is possible!). Second: we will begin to speak and act and live with more authority and confidence if we adopt an internal locus.

Relationship with God and the world first: part of living a peasant life is being able to say we did our best, and meaning it. God will demand an accounting of every moment of our lives, and we don’t want to rely on God understanding that it was raining and thats why you didn’t do the thing. To do our best, we need an iota of self motivation, and this internal locus of control is a good way of thinking about that. Our relationship with the world will improve because suddenly we will stop thinking of life as things that happen to us, and more as things that we make happen. That is what it means to be in control! We must remember of course that our ability to make things happen is derived from and shares in the creative power of God and ought not be separated from that. So as we rely on God, as we internalize out locus of control, we will begin to see the world in a different, less ominous light.

Second, regarding authority and confidence: The secret to training an internal locus of control is taking a moment to appreciate the hard work we did and acknowledging the fruit of our labors. God did this when he rested on the seventh day and saw that His works were good—you can do it too. Tell yourself that you made this thing happen, that it took your work and effort, and by your work and effort you did it.

This is important because I have been thinking about my struggles managing my sleep, and my struggles with motivation of various varieties. If I wake up late, rather than say “Oh no, I overslept!” Or “oh no, I didn’t hear my alarm!” (Both things that happen to me), if I change my attitude to be “I decided to sleep more” then I am shifting my attitude. I am handling the unpredictable with discrete decisions, rather than reacting to things that happen to me. And if I continue to think and talk in terms of decisions against the unpredictable, then what that looks like is confidence. What looks more confident: “I couldn’t run because it was too hot out” or “I decided not to run.” The same effect happens, but the different attitude changes who is in control. It would be even better to say “I ran even though it was hot out” but even just taking the first step as framing your actions as a positive decision is a good change.

This is further helpful for our relationship to God because at the end of all things, God will surely not be looking for excuses for our actions, but He will look at them as positive decisions. If, God forbid, any of us are called to martyrdom, would it be better to say “they were going to cut my head off so I pinched incense” or “I refused to pinch incense so they cut my head off”.

I am currently a few days in to this effort of brainwashing myself into an internal locus of control. Hopefully the change will become obvious but if not, maybe I will post an update in the future.

I hope this article has been helpful. Please let me know if you have any experience with these ideas.

AMDG

CCCXXXVI – Mastery, Mortification, and Motivation

Self Motivation

Self Motivation says “Push yourself”, and means you can do more than you think you can. Typically you have to push yourself into and through discomfort that helps you grow. A runner must push himself to run the last mile, an entrepreneur must push himself to make those investment pitches, an introvert must push himself to socialize, an extrovert must push himself to introspect. These are examples of telling ourselves “It hurts now, but there’s something better coming! Don’t listen to your mind, body, or instinct–it’s going to be ok.”

Self Mortification

Self mortification says “Deny yourself,” and means you are more comfortable than you ought to be. Typically you have to deny yourself creature comforts that stop you from growing. An overweight person must deny himself food (or certain kinds of food) to achieve a healthy weight, an entrepreneur must deny himself money by investing it into his business, a lazy person must deny himself sleep so he can get things done in the day. These are examples of telling ourselves “It’s going to hurt, but only because it’s different–you’re going to be better off on the other side! Don’t listen to your mind, body, or instinct–you don’t need this.”

Self Mastery

Self Mastery says “Perfect yourself,” and means you make you mind, body, or instinct listen to you and not each other. Typically self mastery involves perfecting skills that help us grow. A runner learns to run faster, or run farther; an entrepreneur learns what parts of the pitch get a positive response; a lazy person learns to wake up at the same time every day and is more productive; an introvert learns not to overthink and enjoy the company of others, an extrovert learns to find peace in silence and solitude. These are examples of telling ourselves “These skills are worthwhile efforts–I want to be better at these skills because they help me to be better. My mind, body, or instinct listen to me better for having these skills–I am a better version of myself.”

Synthesis

Self Motivation is a skill that is trained in the pursuit of Self Mastery. Pushing through discomfort is a worthwhile effort, because there is something better coming. We can tell ourselves its going to be OK because we are adding something that makes us better.

Self Mortification is a skill that is trained in the pursuit of Self Mastery. Denying ourselves comfort is a worthwhile effort, because it hurts us and teaches us that the hurt isn’t so bad. We don’t need those comforts because removing them makes us better.

None of these efforts should be undertaken without commending the effort and our lives into the loving arms of God. It is possible to do these things too much. But for some of us, it doesn’t help to begin a journey by wondering how far is too far–it is better just to start. If you bring God with you, He will guide you.

AMDG

CCCXXXV – Humility & The Diamond Exhibit

The motif at a recent meeting of the Legion of Mary was Humility. Mary was the first Disciple of Jesus, and demonstrated the greatest aptitude for virtue of the human race; Mary was the ideal of humility—in the Magnificat she tells the Lord that He has looked with favor on His lowly servant!

Joseph, however, demonstrates a different flavor of humility. Joseph demonstrates a humility of obedience and service. I note in a previous article that Joseph demonstrates humility when he disappears from the Gospels, having completed the work asked of him.

These two kinds of humility are like a Diamond in a glass case. The Diamond is humble because it is simple, unassuming, pure and bright. We exalt the diamond by adorning it with gold and displaying it prominently, but this diamond was taken from a lowly place—a deep mine, under a continent, and by the grace of God was found immaculate, and destined for some greater purpose. Yet still—the diamond in and of itself neither boasts nor brags, it simply is. The diamond still thinks of itself as a rock under a continent, yet by grace has found itself in this display, an example for all to see and emulate.

The glass case of the diamond has an important job to protect the diamond. Yet it does so without obstructing the view, or calling attention to itself. It does it’s job quietly but effectively, boasting no ornamentation of its own or complexity in its design. The glass case knows it is just a glass case, and doesn’t desire anything more. It’s pride and joy is in effectively protecting, and glorifying, the diamond.

These are just some thoughts I had. It is helpful to think of humility in these two different ways: the first, in remembering ones origins even if accepting the exaltation of another; the second, in unassuming and simple work, glorifying another and/or God through that work.

AMDG

CCLXXII – Apologetical Skeleton Keys: No Man Exists In A Vacuum

This is a hard thing to describe so bear with me.

Fiction–cinema, written, television, performative, any fiction–gives us the impression that people can be all good minus this one attribute; or all bad minus this one attribute. There’s a presumption of innocence which is surprisingly charitable. True human nature, however, has connections between mind, body, and spirit which prevent one from being able to move without the others. Recognizing that a mans actions cannot be independent of his thoughts which cannot be independent of his spirit is this Skeleton Key.

Bishop Fulton Sheen was keenly gifted in detecting this. Bishop Sheen has a story where he was on a flight to a theological conference and the priest sitting next to him on the flight confessed–“Sometimes I have a hard time accepting the real presence of the Eucharist.” Bishop Sheen replied: “What color his her hair? The woman you are seeing.”

Bishop Sheen knew that our thoughts, words, and deeds are all interconnected. This was not an otherwise good priest having philosophical doubts–he was behaving badly and so believing badly.

So how is this a Skeleton Key?

Assimilating Truth is a very challenging thing to do. It takes humility to simultaneously acknowledge that you do not have all the answers and that you are willing to accept the answers as they are presented to you. That’s why you can’t just walk around saying “Jesus is God” and have people convert on the spot. Most people aren’t seeking, most people aren’t listening.

That is a separate problem, the nature of most people. But supposing the apologist has encountered someone who is a seeker, who is curious and wants to learn not just what are the things that you do but why do you do them, then you have an opportunity to preach the Gospel. The seeker will either reject it or accept it. If they reject it, they will either do so obstinately–“that’s dumb no way dude”–or inquisitively–“that doesn’t make sense to me”.

But in both cases of rejecting, there is usually some attachment to error that is blocking the path. Perhaps they have been taught that predestination is true since they were children and they are too attached to the belief to let go of it. Perhaps they are a serial fornicator curious about religion but not enough to stop fornicating. Perhaps they don’t like the thought that they owe a duty of worship to God and the thought makes them uncomfortable. It could be anything–but the point is, the apologist must recognize that it is not the doctrine in isolation which the seeker has a problem with; the seeker has a disconnect with the doctrine in some aspect of how they live, think, and/or pray.

This is also why it is very important to make sure the apologist is governing their lives with discipline according to the law of God. If the seeker believes the apologist isn’t practicing what they are preaching, neither of you will grow closer to Christ.

AMDG

CCXLI – Forget Yourself

I made reference to the idea of “forgetting yourself” in my list on self mastery. I used this phrase off-hand, but realized that it’s not quite so simple an idea and merits further thought. So we dig deeper into the practice of cultivating self mastery.

First, there are two principal ideas that are useful to draw distinctions around the idea of forgetting oneself. The first is “Confidence”, the second is “Selflessness”. Each of these has virtues in its own right, but stand distinct from being forgetful of yourself. Confidence is the belief that you are the right person, in the right place, at the right time. The source of this confidence can come from the self: A self confident man walks into any room assured that he is the right man in the right place. This confidence can come from God: A man confident in the Lord can walk into any room assured that God is the right person in the right place, and He is with him. Confidence is, to a certain extent, outward facing, concerned with other people and how we relate to them. A confident man might not care what other people think about him but only because he knows his relationship to them. A man confident in God does not care what other people think about him but only because he shares with them a common relationship with God.

Selflessness refers more to the intention, and is therefore more inward facing. A selfish man hoards goods or thoughts or knowledge, performs deeds first for himself. A selfless man gives of his own supply, and deeply. A selfless man will enter a room with the intention of serving. This might resemble confidence because the selfless man is assured in his purpose.

In this way, Confidence is assurance in relationship, selflessness is assurance in purpose. So being forgetful of oneself is almost assurance in ability. To forget oneself doesn’t speak so much to relationship because it doesn’t give thought to whether you are in the right place or whether you are the right person. To forget oneself doesn’t speak to purpose because it needs no intention. To forget oneself is to do things that need to be done because they must be done. They might be done abler by others, but you are present and the need is before you, therefore you act.

To forget oneself I have seen described as being “distrustful of your own inclinations”. If I am terrified of heights, but I feel God calling me on to jump out of an airplane, I simply jump. My own inclinations would only cause worry and woe, but serving the needs of God doesn’t require any inclinations on my part, just able hands and a willing spirit. Every act–thought word and deed– can be turned into an act of service in this way, because every act is an act in the service of God.

So how can we cultivate this sense of forgetting ourselves? Prayer is fundamental to every human endeavor, so to grow in self forgetfulness, we must start here. The second thing is to practice acting against your inclinations. If your body is screaming “I don’t want to talk to the barista I just want my coffee”, then tell the barista good morning and act against that inclination. You may have no more of a conversation than mere pleasantries, but you may also have an opportunity to introduce them to Christ–an opportunity which would not have existed if you said nothing.

Self denial is a form of self mortification where you deny yourself things you want; self forgetfulness is where you act against what you want. It transcends sacrifice because it goes beyond what you want and seeks out the will of God. And the will of God is always the highest good.

AMDG

CCXXXV – Peasant Principles

I’ve written a bit about the Peasant Faith and what it means to cultivate one’s faith in simplicity and humility. Many of the ideas I discuss on this blog (and with my friend Hambone) are predicated on this philosophy. I know intuitively when an idea is peasantly, but I have not distilled into principles what makes the Peasant Faith tick. So here I will attempt to do that.

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1^st Principle: Surrender that over which you have no control. I am reasonably certain that you have heard some form of this before, so please don’t write it off as cliche just yet. Think about the last time you were angry. What were you doing, what were you talking about? Was it politics? Was it the economy? Was it something someone did? Now ask yourself this: Was it something you could control? The reason this principle is so potent for me is that for me, the answer was that it was not something I could control. When I realized how much I was letting exterior forces determine my happiness, I realized I needed to let those things go. This principle is all about shaking dust from your shoes and leaving needless trouble behind.

2^nd Principle: Commit to performing well that over which you do have control. When you recognize those things you cannot control, you will start to see with clarity exactly what it is you can control. When isolated from the needlessly distracting worry of the world, you can focus on performing those things well. Many Saints have talked about doing little things with as much perfection as possible. This is that principle: Tie your shoes as perfectly as you can. Take your kids to school as perfectly as you can. Work in your day as perfectly as you can. And at the end of the day, before you go to sleep, say to yourself that you did your best, and mean it.

3^rd Principle: Shun information that does not help you in the practice of the 2nd Principle. If one of the things you can control is, say, going to your job and working every day, don’t let anything disturb you from that purpose. Imagine this: on the drive to the office you hear the news that Governor So-and-so has enacted a new policy that will require such-and-such, and you don’t like that. If it ruins your mood and reduces your effectiveness at work, that information has not helped you do your work in the best possible way. Can you do anything to change that news right that second? Absolutely not. Is it helping you? Absolutely not. So get rid of it. Eventually you will find yourself consuming information that is productive and helpful to your daily life; eventually you will realize how much negativity you were letting passively enter your conscience.

4^th Principle: Shun worries over which you have no control, not every problem needs to be solved by you. Besides just the information, when there are problems that arise in your life or which are presented to you, you can ask yourself what you can do to help. Some people like to bring their problems to other people just to share the burden, even if others cannot help. If you can help, do so, and do well. If you cannot–don’t let yourself be troubled. Some problems are intractable and persistent, and if you cannot do anything right now, do not take on that worry. There is a temptation to think that we must act with urgency to address big problems, social problems, global problems: but if your efforts cannot move the needle one jot, let it go. If you can, do, and do well, in accord with the 2nd Principle; otherwise let it go, and be at peace.

5^th Principle: When solving problems over which you do have control, seek solutions already proven by our forebears. You will find that some problems you can control. As much as you can, seek solutions which have already been tried and tested. This is the value of tradition. I will badly paraphrase a quote I heard somewhere: “Tradition is a set of solutions to problems which have been forgotten. When tradition goes, the problems reappear.” Tradition is the collective wisdom of every generation that came before us–rely on it, listen to their wisdom. You don’t have to solve every problem on your own, or come up with a new solution. There is more help out there than you realize–seek it out!

6^th Principle: Seek Simplicity in all things. Seek occupation that you love. Keep your life simple–complexity introduces worry; the accumulation of stuff introduces worry. Simplicity helps prevent problems in the first place. Likewise, seek occupation that you love. By occupation, I mean something to occupy your time, because not everyone is called to a nine-to-five job. Keep busy and love what keeps you busy. That will keep your life simple, and will prevent problems too. When you don’t love what you spend your time doing, it will create problems that you may or may not be able to solve. Put in the effort to discern what you love to do, and do it.

7^th Principle: Invest in growth for yourself, your family, and your community, in that order. Seek always for self mastery, for strength in virtue, for health and wellness. Seek the same for your family. Seek to bring those things to your community. But remember to begin with what you can control, and the foremost thing you can control is yourself. As you grow, you can help others grow. You cannot give of something you do not have.

8^th Principle: Do Nothing Alone: Rely on God. You are not alone. God knows you by name, and loves you, and wants what is best for you. Rely on His help, and offer Him thanksgiving for His help. Understand that He is helping you in more ways than you realize. God is always working in our lives, and the more we recognize that, the more grateful we can be to Him, the more we can be motivated to give Him our very best.

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This is the synthesis of a lot of ideas, and may require amendment or additions in the future. In any case: these principles represent the launchpad for more thought on the subject of the Peasant Faith. There is more to come!

AMDG

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7/10/2022: This article has been turned into a podcast at my substack. Click here to listen!

CCXVI – Leash the Dogs

This is the fruit of some self reflection, and writing this stream of consciousness helps me think about resolutions to challenges in my spiritual life. Perhaps it can be helpful to you as well, but really my purpose here is not to give advice but to strategize a plan of action.

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Winston Churchill is said to have described a recurring depressive state as “the black dog”. When he had it under control, he would say he had “Leashed the black dog”. I’ve always liked the imagery, not least of all because of my own efforts to leash the black dog.

The imagery is compelling because it illustrates how our passions can get the better of us. We can have them well restrained but if we let up a little bit they can get away from us. If we feed them too much they can overpower us. If we suppress them they won’t develop healthily. The Dogs are a part of the human experience and we all deal with them in our own unique way.

An article I came across describes the practice of self control vis a vis Anger. This is a topic I have been thinking a lot about lately. The way I express anger is not (often) through lashing out, but through inward facing expression: not an explosion, but an underground coal fire. I don’t like letting other people control me in this way by inducing me to anger–or, more accurately, I don’t like that I don’t have sufficient control of myself to prevent incitement. I think it could be helpful to think of this as Leashing the Red Dog. My Red Dog is well contained within a fence so when he gets off his leash all he can do is damage my own property.

The article says “If you see that through your weakness [anger] has gained a foothold in your spirit, instantly gather all your forces to re-establish peace and tranquility.” This requires a few things. This presupposes that prevention has failed, so it requires sufficient self awareness to recognize that the red dog is loose as early as possible. Secondly, it requires an understanding of what forces can be gathered. Third, it requires an accessible mindset of peace and tranquility.

Typically, I don’t recognize that the red dog is loose very early at all. Usually I will allow myself to get spooled up and let the tension in and some minutes to hours later I will wonder why my chest hurts and realize that I have been storing tension. I have succeeded at intervention in other realms: The Jesus prayer has effectively helped me curb my use of profanity. That has a discrete occasion (speaking a profanity) and so requires a discrete intervention (immediately say a short prayer). Occasions of Anger are a little stealthier, because the occasions can seem innocuous. An occasion for me recently was a colleague coming to my office and sitting down and airing his relatable frustrations with some aspect of our work. I listened and found myself sympathetically incited: “Yeah! You know what, that is crazy!” It seems like a harmless comment but it “opens the door” to anger, to reacting to some stimulus beyond my control. Another occasion is when I am working on solving a problem and having to explain it to individuals who neither understand the problem nor the solution, and whose decisions are colored by this lack of understanding. These two occasions are important to note because I must understand the occasions in order to understand what tools are required for them.

The resources at my disposal include first, self awareness. I have control over my dispositions and cannot and should not allow others to control my dispositions through incitement or otherwise. Second, is an accurate understanding of the occasions for anger. In the first example I gave, the occasion is not what my colleague was saying but my colleague himself. If I know that my colleague tends to air his frustrations, and that I can relate and become sympathetically frustrated, I need to be on guard at the moment my colleague arrives at my office. A short recommendation to God before hand may help me retain a peaceful mindset. If, failing this, I still find my “battle blood” rising, what can I do? An Ignatian concept is agere contra, or “act against”. I can act against this by deliberately speaking contrarily. Instead of “Yeah, that is crazy!” I could respond with “I am sure there is a good reason for it.” This is in keeping with the Aristotlean concept of doing particular things to acquire particular qualities.

In my other example, the occasion for anger is not how these individuals respond but my opinion of my own work going into the discussion with them, and my own idea of how I expect them to respond. Likewise with my frustrated colleague, I can be aware that certain individuals respond a certain way and so say a short recommendation to God before the encounter. I can prime my thought process by deliberately setting expectations for myself, and by humbling myself with obedience to the mandates of management. I can act against my rising anger by keeping silence and resolving to either drop a matter that must be laid to rest, or returning to work on a better explanation of a desired outcome has not been achieved. The fault is not with them but with me: if I explain better, they might understand.

The Third force I can gather is an accessible mental state of tranquility and peace. This begins and ends with prayer–I have been investing heavily in silent prayer and working on removing distractions and disturbances from my active mental life. In the occasions for anger, though, I must proactively invite God’s peace into my conscience and protect it from disturbance. This will require practice–mental peace in prayer is difficult enough for me with reduced stimulus of closed eyes and a quiet room, so doing so in a public setting with my email pinging every few minutes will require the practice of fortitude.

The final force is trust in God. If God is with me, who can be against me? What is worth giving away my peace for? Very little, if anything. Certainly not the things I am giving away my peace for today.

There are occasions where Anger is necessary, but if the Red Dog has exhausted itself by ransacking my own property, it won’t be alert when there are intruders at my gates.

AMDG

CCIV – Enchiridion Excursus

I. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.

Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved.

Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, “You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.” And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.

-Epictetus, The Enchiridion

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I wanted to include the entire text of this first entry in the Enchiridion by Epictetus, because there is nothing I can exclude without reducing it’s meaning, rather than enhancing it as I intended. The question at hand here is “How do I accept what I have control over and cease to be affected by that over which I have no control?”

Epictetus says (in a word) we only have control over our own actions and we do not have control over anything that is not our own actions. He doesn’t even include our bodies as something under our control because, I presume, we cannot help but breathe. Our bodies are a means of action but are given to us, we don’t choose them nor do we control their aptitudes nor afflictions. I digress!

What Epictetus gives us is a very narrow area of control and a very wide area of non-control. There are a great many things which we want to control and cannot–a major source of disappointment in our lives, if not the only source, could be said to be this desire to control things which we cannot.

This is a hard lesson to learn, even harder to practice. Individuals have a unique ability to disturb my conscience. How can I make peace with the actions of the world? I think asserting control over that which we have control is probably prior to making peace with the things we cannot control. If I let other people disturb my conscience, that is because I haven’t protected my conscience. I must work to fortify my soul such that it is at peace regardless of circumstance. By enforcing, with iron rule, my own self mastery, I cannot help but be undisturbed by whatever winds blow about the world.

This is the beginning. There is a reason Epictetus has this as his first entry in The Enchiridion. It is fundamental to everything else.

AMDG

CXCVI – Training Self-Mastery

In my previous article I discussed how the interior life moderates the excesses of the exterior passions; the exterior life defends the interior life against disturbances. I suggested the best way to train these muscles is to act against your natural inclinations–unstated in that article was that eventually the desired inclinations will become natural.

This is something that I need help in, so what follows is an exploration of practical advice for training and moderating ones interior and exterior life. I hope you find it useful as well, which is why I am musing about it publicly; I don’t presume to tell you “BECOME A SAINT WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK (Demons hate it!)” so ultimately you will have to find what works for you. I am speaking from my own perch, where all I can see is myself. I welcome any comments or criticisms anyone might have which would improve this concept of self mastery.

The Exterior Life is probably the easiest to understand and feel and attempt to control, and simultaneously the hardest to actually control because it is front-facing and battered by the winds of the world. Some people call an awareness of your exterior actions, presentations, words, and habits “mindfulness”, but I like the term “self conscious” better. The first step will always just be an awareness of what you are doing.

The second step, as I see it, is an awareness of what troubles your interior life. Again: part of the function of the Exterior life is to defend the interior life. The Exterior life cannot spare itself from itself, it must be directed to something else.

Think about what disturbs your interior life. An example from me: I get stirred up very easily by a particular colleague at work, whom I used to work for, and whom I have a very bad relationship with. I no longer have to work with this person but every jot of news I get, every slight interaction I might have in passing, stirs me up to bitterness. The background is irrelevant, whether my animosity is justified or not is irrelevant. The fact of that matter is that I do, in fact, feel bitterness and it takes very little to make me feel bitterness.

So lets say I wanted to utilize my exterior life to protect my interior life. The first and most obvious way to act against this bitterness is to bite my tongue. When I am stirred to bitterness it is tempting for me to turn to my friendly colleagues and give vent to my animosity. It is this act, more than the acts of my colleague, which disturbs my interior life. By holding my silence, my interior disturbance must remain an interior disturbance, and so starved of oxygen the fire burns out. That is a change in behavior and not necessarily a change in belief. The goal is interior peace, and to avoid disturbance into the future. Another exterior method is prayer–Pray for and about the things that trouble me. Prayer is never wasted, but exterior prayer, saying it out loud (whether in public or not) can help practice that exterior defense. Giving voice to this takes the prayer from an interior one to an exterior one, becomes a public expression that reinforces and is reinforced by interior belief. So in my next encounter, if I were to take this to heart, not only would I not speak ill of the comrade who has drawn my ire, but perhaps I can pray for them in a way that wishes their good–even something as simple as “May God bless xxxx”.

Another action that goes against this temptation to bitterness is to perhaps say something kind to the object of my animosity–rather than harboring interior bitterness, speaking some exterior kindness. Further still, performing some act of kindness would be an exterior action contrary to my interior belief. Consistently acting, speaking, praying in conflict with my interior life would be uncomfortable at first but with time and practice will soften my hardened heart.

In Summary: Pray, Speak, and Act against whatever troubles your interior life, and your exterior life will be strengthened and you will find your interior life decreasingly troubled.

The Interior life, in contrast to the Exterior, is very easy to control and very difficult to understand. Which seems counterintuitive, but if you’ve ever been struck by an inexplicable mood (for good or ill), you know how strange and unpredictable knowing the movements of your interior life can be. The word I would use to describe having an understanding of your interior life is introspection.

Like with the exterior life, the first step is an awareness of what you think and feel, and correlating that with activities in the exterior life. The interior life can moderate the volatility of the exterior life, and so an awareness of both is essential.

So think about what troubles your exterior life, which has its roots internally. Another example from my own life, when I am stressed I tend to have a shorter temper than when I am not stressed. Another colleague at work was a paratrooper in the Army and likes to walk by when I am stressed and remind me that nobody is being shot at. So the first practice to strengthen the interior life is perspective. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and keep focused the true measure of the source of stress. Prayer also is good to fortify and reinforce your interior life. Memorize some prayers, and keep them in mind, call upon them in times of trouble. A good way to accomplish both perspective and prayer at once is to contemplate the sorrowful mysteries: Whatever is troubling you, you aren’t being flogged at a pillar, nor crowned with thorns, nor crucified. Call upon Our Lady’s intercession.

There are more exterior ailments than just stress and a short temper. Acting against these troubles in the interior life involves maintaining a sense of calm, having an interior awareness of how the world wants you to react and how you want to react. It can also mean exercising the will to deprive yourself of some comfort: Fasting, abstaining from meat or sweets or anything you happen to want, while these may be exterior acts they are first and foremost acts of the will. As such, they are flexions of the interior life that helps temper and moderate your exterior life.

In Summary: Maintain perspective, pray, practice calmness and peace, and you will find it working its way up and out into your exterior life. Practice self mortification, fasting, abstinence from anything you find you desire, and you will find moderation in your exterior life as well.

I hope this has been a useful exercise!

AMDG

CXCV – Interior and Exterior Life

Serenity comes when the internal life and the external life are in the same state. Well–the same peaceful state. The internal and external life can be angry too, so maybe “Harmony” is the better word for it. Anger can be harmonious, but it’s better to be at peace than to be angry.

The point that I’m making is less about what happens when interior and exterior life are aligned and more about when they are not aligned. Lets start by defining what I’m talking about.

The Interior Life is the mental life, spiritual life. It is how we live with ourselves, talk to ourselves, pray to God in the quiet moments of our day, think about what we are doing, saying, etc. The Exterior life is the external manifestations of these ideas: It’s how we talk to others, live with others, pray when asked to pray aloud, it’s what we do, say, etc.

Lets talk about some emotional states.

It is possible to be externally happy and internally sad, and likewise to be externally sad and internally happy. This can be described as being ingenuine, but could also be described as conflicted. Schadenfreud is joy at the misfortune of others, and publicly expressing “Oh, I’m sorry that happened” and internally expressing “Haha loser” is not harmonious. Likewise, it is possible for depressed persons to go about their day and run the gamut of human emotions with an interior weight preventing full participation in those experiences.

I think that is the fruit of discord, and why being “ingenuine” is a related concept to being prevented from “full participation in experiences”. When there is discord between internal and external expression, you are not fully immersed in a given experience. You are either focusing on the one or the other, internal or external experience, but it is not all of you.

Is it possible to be internally content and externally emotive? At a basic level, yes, I think that’s what people call “relaxed” if you are internally content and externally happy. It is possible to be internally happy but externally content, I believe this would be described as “restrained”.

I think it is best to have an alignment between what you experience internally and what you express externally. Though far from advocating being subject to the whims of your passions, maybe it is better still to cultivate an interior contentedness such that external forces don’t disturb an external contentedness. This would be serenity.

I, for one, tend to wear my passions on my sleeve. Some might call this being “thin skinned,” which is not a description I like but one that is hard to argue with sometimes. I can certainly take my share of grief but also tend to express grief as a result.

So serenity comes from taming ones passions, internally and externally. External passions have their roots in the interior life, so internal peace moderates exterior reaction. The interior life can be disturbed by exterior events, and so the exterior life protects internal peace. These are two muscles that must be trained: The exterior life is the defense of the interior against the world; the interior life is the moderation of the exterior from excess. The two efforts are congruent.

How does one train the interior and exterior life? It seems to me it requires an honest assessment of how you are being assailed. If you are finding yourself internally uneasy, it would be good to strengthen exterior fortitude to buy yourself some room to settle and grow. If you are finding yourself externally impassioned, it would be good to cultivate an interior peace contra those passions.

This means intentionally acting against the way you are naturally feeling. Which will cause some interior discord. But when you command the interior discord, it can be constructive. If you are at the mercy of your passions then it is not controlled, and can be destructive.

The effort of taming ones interior and exterior passions is called self mastery.

AMDG