I made reference to the idea of “forgetting yourself” in my list on self mastery. I used this phrase off-hand, but realized that it’s not quite so simple an idea and merits further thought. So we dig deeper into the practice of cultivating self mastery.
First, there are two principal ideas that are useful to draw distinctions around the idea of forgetting oneself. The first is “Confidence”, the second is “Selflessness”. Each of these has virtues in its own right, but stand distinct from being forgetful of yourself. Confidence is the belief that you are the right person, in the right place, at the right time. The source of this confidence can come from the self: A self confident man walks into any room assured that he is the right man in the right place. This confidence can come from God: A man confident in the Lord can walk into any room assured that God is the right person in the right place, and He is with him. Confidence is, to a certain extent, outward facing, concerned with other people and how we relate to them. A confident man might not care what other people think about him but only because he knows his relationship to them. A man confident in God does not care what other people think about him but only because he shares with them a common relationship with God.
Selflessness refers more to the intention, and is therefore more inward facing. A selfish man hoards goods or thoughts or knowledge, performs deeds first for himself. A selfless man gives of his own supply, and deeply. A selfless man will enter a room with the intention of serving. This might resemble confidence because the selfless man is assured in his purpose.
In this way, Confidence is assurance in relationship, selflessness is assurance in purpose. So being forgetful of oneself is almost assurance in ability. To forget oneself doesn’t speak so much to relationship because it doesn’t give thought to whether you are in the right place or whether you are the right person. To forget oneself doesn’t speak to purpose because it needs no intention. To forget oneself is to do things that need to be done because they must be done. They might be done abler by others, but you are present and the need is before you, therefore you act.
To forget oneself I have seen described as being “distrustful of your own inclinations”. If I am terrified of heights, but I feel God calling me on to jump out of an airplane, I simply jump. My own inclinations would only cause worry and woe, but serving the needs of God doesn’t require any inclinations on my part, just able hands and a willing spirit. Every act–thought word and deed– can be turned into an act of service in this way, because every act is an act in the service of God.
So how can we cultivate this sense of forgetting ourselves? Prayer is fundamental to every human endeavor, so to grow in self forgetfulness, we must start here. The second thing is to practice acting against your inclinations. If your body is screaming “I don’t want to talk to the barista I just want my coffee”, then tell the barista good morning and act against that inclination. You may have no more of a conversation than mere pleasantries, but you may also have an opportunity to introduce them to Christ–an opportunity which would not have existed if you said nothing.
Self denial is a form of self mortification where you deny yourself things you want; self forgetfulness is where you act against what you want. It transcends sacrifice because it goes beyond what you want and seeks out the will of God. And the will of God is always the highest good.
AMDG
Times-Dispatch of Vichy Earth 